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    February 22

    安息香。

     
     
        堂兄去世了,母亲刚回到家缓缓的说出这句话。脑子里浮现起多年来堂兄为数不多的记忆,记得真正认真看过他一眼也是匆匆忙忙的。
     
        论起辈分来他是我的堂兄,但是年龄上他比我要大了一轮多,因为他女儿和我同般年纪。堂兄是个真正的悲情人物,听家里的长辈偶尔说起过,他早年长相颇为俊朗,在学校教书,又娶妻生子,看起来好像要幸福平凡的过完一生。可是不知道什么时候什么地点,堂兄撞见了他的妻子对他不忠,从此以后就得了精神病。小时候去姑姑家,姑姑总是单独让他在一个房间里,虽然没有锁起来,但是他很安静也不会四处乱跑。有一次路过厨房看见他,昏暗的房间里他坐在床上看着我,眼神清澈善良,没有恶意。
     
        这是我对堂兄很少记忆中的一部分,堂兄很苦,后来我出去念书时听说他被送去了乡下,我父亲为他申请了每月近两千的补助,由乡下照顾他的兄长领取。乡下的环境是不太好的,又被锁了起来。去年的冰灾都熬过了,今年要开春了,却不知道怎么死去了。照顾他的堂兄只说昨天没吃什么,今天就死了。我想堂兄不长的一生内心肯定充满了恐惧与痛苦,没有人会去跟他正常的说话,就像每个人的电影传纪一样,最后悲惨的结局与凄凉的独白。堂兄没有成为伟大人物,没有人为他写小说拍电影,这里浅浅掠过,算是纪念,也是记录他来这世上走过,存活在我的记忆里过。仅此。
     
        堂兄的生命结束了,他可能一直都没有活在我们的这个世界里,或许死是一种解脱,希望一路走好,来世不要再被爱所伤害。
     
     
     
     
     
     

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