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    October 01

    晨。

     
     
    “听你这么说变得更难过起来,也许这样的感受也是生活成长的一部分,就好像真的有些路只有一个人走。风景只有一个人能看。有时候落下必须的眼泪。我仍然会站在你身边。:)”
     
        清晨,我和snow有一句没一句的发着短信。她的话让我难受,因为很真实,事实如此,而我却还不能接受。对着镜子开始一口一口的吸烟,从缓缓浅尝到剧烈的吞吐,呼吸也随着吞吐逐渐剧烈。我甚至有想把整只烟吞下去的冲动。这么多年,第一次让烟雾灌满了我的胸腔我的肺。却什么也说不出来。
        snow坐在南下回家的火车上,床上有一个背对我睡去的男人。而我开始想念入夜以后,鱼压抑的低闷的敲打键盘的声音,想念小马总是突如其来的小脾气,想念银子分给我们的温暖,想念双总是脱口而出的一堆北方话。我早就说过,很决绝的说过,毕业以后,绝不想念。也许这就是我幼稚的地方。昨天,给每个人都打了电话,只有双的接通了。于是给双聊着闲话的时候,突然梗咽到无法呼吸,一个字也说不出来,挂了电话。
        遇到有很好的男生想接近我,眼神清澈的,手指修长,笑容干净。我却再也无法和这样美好的人在一起。因为我美好的年华已逝去。就像谁说的,青春就像一卷卷筒纸,滚着滚着就没有了。于是,我也拒他们而远去。
        早安,大家。我想念你们,我就是这样无耻的矫情了。
     
     
     

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